My Crack Zelda Headcanon

My headcanon is that young Link (in Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask) wears green underwear (like in the 3DS remake) with the name Link (in Hylian letters) stitched on the rear. He made them (and his other clothes, as the Kokiri traditionally make their own goods) himself. The reason he stitched his name on the back of his underwear is, if he was found dead, someone would need to know his name in order for his soul to pass on to the afterlife. He also likes to show them off (and consequently his underwear-clad rear end) every chance he gets, since (according to him) what’s the point of having your name on the back of your underwear if no-one ever gets to see it?

A funny Zelda skit I thought up

[Scene: Ocarina of Time, Link’s childhood, Zelda’s Courtyard]

Zelda: By the way, Link… Do you wear anything under that tunic of yours?
Link: Of course! I’ll show ya!
[Link turns around, bends over and pulls up the hem of his tunic to reveal green undershorts with the name “Link” (in Hylian letters) stitched on the rear]
Zelda: Eek! Impa! The boy from the forest is mooning me!
Link: (Huh? But my butt’s not bare…)
[Suddenly, Impa appears and slaps Link in the face]
Impa: How dare you do that to a poor innocent girl? You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
Link: But she asked me…
Navi: You know, you could have just told her…

[Scene: Link’s Adulthood, Forest Temple]

Sheik: By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you, what do you wear under that tunic?
Link: (I don’t know about this… Last time I tried something like that to a girl, I got slapped… But, as long as it’s a guy, where’s the harm?) OK, I’ll show you! [Turns around, bends over, and pulls up the hem of his tunic, revealing a butt clad in white leggings]
Sheik: [Kicks Link in the groin] How dare you do that to people! You’re a grown man, you should be ashamed!
Navi: Link, what did I say to you seven years ago?!

[Scene: Majora’s Mask, Romani Ranch]

Malon: By the way, Grasshopper, do you wear anything underneath that tunic?
Link: Uh… You won’t scream if I answer that, will you?
Malon: Of course not, Grasshopper! Why would I?
Link: Uh… OK. [Turns around, bends over, and pulls up the hem of his tunic, again revealing green shorts with the name Link (in Hylian letters) stitched on the rear]
Malon: By the gods! SISTER! That green-clad boy’s mooning me!
Link: (Huh? I’m still wearing shorts, though…)
[Cremia runs up to Link and punches him in the face]
Cremia: How dare you treat my littler sister like that?! Didn’t your parents teach you any manners?!
Link: (I should have taken Navi’s advice and just told her…)
Tatl: Do you always do that to people?

And that’s it. If anyone feels free to illustrate the above as a comic, please tell me.